Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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