On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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