You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize