I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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