operation harelip BJ is a go
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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