Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
this will be a night to untag.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
