Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
