I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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