I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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