you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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