i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
