I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
