I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
