what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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