My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
