i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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