You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
