I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
