im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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