I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
