State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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