so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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