To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
