so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
