The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
