I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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