I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
