I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
