never play flip cup with pint glasses
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
