and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
