So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
