Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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