Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
need another drink. this is the easiest way
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
