My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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