It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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