It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
