im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
