I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
