I just cut my nipple shaving
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
