just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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