i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize