she was so not down for the gang bang
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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