We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
