PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
