I think im going to throw up on grandma
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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