We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
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If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
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All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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