Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize