Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
