Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
