What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
