Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
