the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
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Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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