Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
