i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.