I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up