She's JV to your varsity
babies were throwing up all over the place
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had