sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
