Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
barbara walters just said penis...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
