Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
