Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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