Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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