By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just want to make out with him forever
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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