It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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