capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
