I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
