I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
