Me too!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My balls are so social today.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
