There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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