And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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