whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
