I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
