no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
whose ass print is on the piano?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
