I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Is it penis luge time yet?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
